Tag: warped
member name: Bob C.
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November 30, 2007 09:06 AM EST --
Nov 30 1991
In Costa Mesa, California, battered wife Omeima Nelson kills her abusive husband and then proceeds to cook him. She says; "I did his ribs just like in a restaurant. It's . . .
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May 25, 2008 12:37 AM EDT --
"How did the human race come about?" a child asked her mother.
The mother answered "God made Adam and Eve, and they had children and so all mankind was made."
Two days later . . .
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January 05, 2008 02:37 PM EST --
Fred and Mary got married, but couldn't afford a honeymoon, so they go back to Fred's parent's home for their first night together.
In the morning, Johnny , Fred's little brother, . . .
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January 06, 2008 02:11 PM EST --
Smoking Hot older ladies in the rain;
Two old ladies were waiting for a bus and one of them was smoking a cigarette. It started to rain, so the old lady reached into her purse, took out a condom, . . .
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January 08, 2008 12:23 AM EST --
A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first . . .
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January 08, 2008 10:41 AM EST --
A man and his wife entered a dentist's office.
The wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly . . .
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February 25, 2008 07:10 AM EST --
''My God! What happened to you?'' the bartender asked Kelly as he hobbled in on a crutch, one arm in a cast.
''I got in a tiff with Riley.''
''Riley? He's . . .
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February 26, 2008 12:08 AM EST --
A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs. It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs. He sees the cookies cooling on . . .
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February 27, 2008 10:58 PM EST --
Arrested and awaiting trial for murder: John Wayne Ledbetter, Northport, Ala
( February); Michael Wayne Adams, Fairfax County, Va. (February); David Wayne Cole, West Nottingham, Pa. . . .
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March 11, 2008 06:41 AM EDT --
A newlywed couple just moved into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could . . .
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March 13, 2008 07:27 AM EDT --
A preacher wanted to raise money for his church and on being told that there was a fortune in horse racing, decided to purchase a horse and enter it in the races. However, at the local auction, the going . . .
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March 14, 2008 12:03 AM EDT --
A woman and a baby were in the doctor's examining room, waiting for the doctor to come in.
The doctor arrived, examined the baby, checked his weight and found it somewhat below normal. The doctor . . .
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March 14, 2008 08:56 PM EDT --
Two bats are going for their midnight feed.
After an hour or so, one bat gets tired of looking and goes home with no blood.
The other bat comes home with blood dripping from its mouth. The first . . .
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March 24, 2008 01:34 AM EDT --
Dick Cheney walks into the Oval Office and sees The President whooping and hollering.
"What's the matter, Mr. President?" The Vice President inquired.
"Nothing at all, boss. I . . .
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March 27, 2008 08:12 AM EDT --
This came to me in an e-mail, i thought it was funny enough to share;
An atheist was walking through the woods.
"What majestic trees"!
"What powerful rivers"!
"What . . .
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March 30, 2008 08:33 PM EDT --
Three women are about to be executed. One''s a brunette, one''s a redhead, and one''s a blonde. The guard brings the brunette forward and the executioner asks if she has any last . . .
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March 30, 2008 11:25 PM EDT --
Three hicks were working on a telephone tower - Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly. As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, "Someone should go and tell his wife." . . .
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December 22, 2007 09:27 PM EST --
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director :
How do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said . . .
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January 09, 2008 01:42 AM EST --
A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous woman eating at the next table. He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and . . .
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January 14, 2008 10:31 AM EST --
An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...
Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I . . .
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